We all know that weddings are expensive all the way around, for everyone, but we generally concentrate on how expensive weddings are for the couple getting married. Its true, if youre planning the shindig yourself its easy to spend a lot of money, but you arent the only ones who have to pony up so to speak. These days, between destination bachelorette parties and showers and engagement parties, your wedding party ends up with a hefty bill for your nuptials.
Thats not to say they arent happy to spend the money. By accepting the invitation to be in your bridal party they are also happily accepting the expense that goes along with it. But just because they are happy to spend money on travel and hotels and parties and drinks and gifts, doesnt mean you cant try to make it easier on them.
You cant control certain expenses like airfare and hotels for those in your party who are out-of-town, but here are a few ways you can lessen the load for them.
Dont Worry About the Shoes
Everyone thinks you should be concerned about what shoes your bridesmaids wear, but the truth is, it doesnt matter. They dont need matching shoes. Pick a color and ask everyone to wear something close to that. Even if the gowns are short, as long as the shoes are similar no one will notice. If you pick a fairly common color, then odds are everyone will already own a pair and thats one less expense.
Do it All in One Weekend
As tempting as it may be to spread out the festivities, you will save your bridal party a lot of expense and trouble if you plan all the extra activities for one weekend.
Dont Insist on Professional Hair and Make-Up
If you want to gift these services to your bridesmaids, then by all means do, but if not, theres no reason to make them mandatory. They will all look beautiful regardless.
Their Presence is Their Present
Right? Of course they may still want to give you gifts because they love you, but let it be known its not necessary. This might be a task best handled by the maid of honor. Let her know you really dont want your bridesmaids to buy you a gift and she can help spread the word in a diplomatic way.
Gift the Matching Jewelry
As with the shoes, I tend to think that matching jewelry isnt super necessary, unless youre going with a big statement necklace. So if you really have a specific vision of everyone in the same jewelry, do everyone a solid and give it as a gift. It saves you from trying to find the perfect gift and it saves your maids from having to go out and find a specific piece of jewelry.
You Dont Have to do a Destination Party
I mean you can because theyre fun and all, and if everyones up for it and able then sure. But not everyone wants to make your bachelorette party theyre vacation. If theyre all from out-of-town it might not make a difference, but if you already share the same zip code, consider a stay-cation instead.
As always use your best judgment. You know these people and you know what is reasonable and unreasonable for them. Remember how much you care about all of them and make choices that reaffirm that.