I am still a fairly new newlywed who for obvious reasons has stayed pretty deep in the bridal world bubble and from time to time I like to share some of my experiences that others may find helpful. My experiences are of course my own and are always best served with a grain of salt.
As I was planning my wedding most of my big wedding choices were decided primarily by budget, and so when it came down to having a videographer or not it was never really an option. In a perfect-no-budget-world I might decide differently, and I might have rationalized my choice as a defense mechanism; I can’t have it, but I didn’t want it anyway, so there.
I think about my decision not to have a videographer a lot because I have seen it listed that a major regret brides have about their wedding day is not hiring one. That’s probably not a coincidence, and maybe there is a small part of me that feels that way, but then I remember that if I had a wedding video I might never stop watching it.
And that’s the real reason that I didn’t want it filmed. I just wanted to live the moment and not relive it. I have enough trouble trying not to click through my wedding photos on an almost daily basis more than a year later (You will, too, trust me), so imagine if I could re-watch the wedding whenever wanted. Or worse, what if I could make other people watch it? I feared that after spending so much time preparing for one day I might have trouble letting that day go.
So instead of a beautifully composed video I have all these prefect little crystalized memories that overtime will fade and blend into simply a warm happy feeling that washes over me. And when I can no longer remember what our welcome bags looked like or what song we danced to or what we ate for dinner or how lovely the tables looked I will have flashes of the room, of my dad fluffing the train of my dress, of my husband looking at me in a way that nothing but memory is porous enough to absorb or understand. I will be left with only the jumping off point of our lives together and the sum total of all those moments going forward.
Of course the wonders of technology never cease and almost everyone has the ability to take videos with their cell phone, so to satisfy both budgets and principles you could always make sure one of your guests gets a few quick videos. After all, some things, like say a dance-off between your sister and your aunt deserve proper documentation.