If you have made the decision to write your own wedding vows then you are quite romantic and just a good bit brave. Getting up in front of all those people and repeating the vows correctly is nerve-wracking enough, and it’s harder still when they aren’t just generic words, but something you created. If you’re like me you want vows that are personal yet born in the tradition of all vows. You want to move your guests to happy tears, and you want your spouse to be moved, too. These are hard things to accomplish; love is a very complex thing to express, but you are surely up to the task. If and when you get stumped, take a look at these helpful tips.
Write Them Together
Yes, it sounds really nice to write the vows in secret and be surprised by the touching and romantic promises as they are read to you for the very first time in front of all your friends and family. Yes, that is very romantic, but it’s also a lot of pressure. And why should vows be a surprise? Shouldn’t you be promising the same things to one another? So if you’re having trouble writing vows separately, sit down together and make one set that you each repeat. Talking them through together might also help you focus on the marriage part of the wedding instead of simply on the fun celebration part.
As guests asked to come to your wedding and watch you pledge the rest of your life to one person we know you love each other. We get it. Your whole entire wedding is a proclamation of, and a testament to, your love, but your vows should be vows and not a toast. They are not the forum to talk about what you love about each other, or when you knew you loved each other, or what you have been through to get to that moment; your vows are about the future. Your vows are what are you going to do for one another when things are happy and easy and when things are not happy and easy. You can still promise whatever you like to make the vows your own, but make sure whether sacred or silly you take the time to make lasting promises.
Look to Tradition
The traditional vows in some form or another have been around for such a long time because they represent overcoming the hardest part of any marriage or relationship: I’ll be with you when it’s good and when it’s bad. That’s all there is to it. So don’t be afraid to take the traditional vows and use them as a template. For example, for our vows instead of saying for richer or poorer in sickness and in health we simply said “I will make hard times easier and good times better.” It carries the same sentiment, but it’s in our own words. You can do that. That’s easy.