The world of weddings is no stranger to viral internet posts. Somewhere there will always be a groom performing a choreographed dance, or a bride wearing something outrageous or s host or guest making a breach of etiquette. That’s what happened last week when the internet spotlighted the story of a couple who was sent a bill for not attending a wedding they had RSVP’d yes to.
Much was made of this story. Magazines wrote articles about the best way to handle no-shows at your wedding. Etiquette experts weighted in, wedding planners shared their rules, and ordinary brides shared their stories. People were quick to come to the defense of both sides of the dilemma. Some argued that the major offense was the bill and others argued the main offense was the no-show.
While it’s important to understand how to address no-shows to your wedding, it’s really most important to acknowledge that they will exist. Get used to the idea right now that several of the guests who RSVP’d yes will not actually make it to your wedding.
And that’s OK. Of course you want them there and you will miss them and you paid money for them to be there, but force yourself to remember the big picture. You are no more in control of things on your wedding day than you are on any other day. You cannot control the availability of babysitters or the spread of the flu or the resiliency of rental car engines.
Give your would-be guests the benefit of the doubt and assume that they would be there if they could. That’s all the more thought you need to put into it. They would be there if they could. Give them this benefit even if you don’t think it’s true. Give them this benefit even if they don’t reach out to you. Give them this benefit because if you invited them to your wedding you must like them, and you should probably go on liking them anyway.